Sunday, September 24, 2006

PHWonline: good comics, bad forum community - Battle.net Starcraft Brood War's player faults!!!

I am extremely unapologetic as I write this post. It is 3am and I am here alone for the week while my family go on holiday up north, leaving me behind to care for myself.

In any case, a few hours after they left me here, I signed up at PHWonline.com... as you could probably guess, I'm now starting to regret that decision.

First of all, you know how I sign most if not all my posts on this blog with "Ark" at the end? After all, I am Arkaine the Undead Mage on Boulderfist. In my huge amounts of spare time that I have, I like to discuss (read: rant on about) various issues that just strike me as either very odd or very stupid.

One of those issues is the fact that my high school FINAL progress report for this year just arrived in the mail a few days - and we still have a full term and exams to go. But I'll leave that for another post in another time.

Anyway, as soon as I started posting on PHW, I immediately noticed something different about these forums - something that made PHW unique to literally every other forum I have joined.

A lot of these people are so bloody immature it isn't funny.

It just isn't.

I'm having trouble contemplating all this, let alone putting it all into writing.

It's just so hard to contemplate their stupidity. It's just so freakin' immense.

I'll try to keep it simple enough for you to understand without dying from brain hemorrhages. The real trouble though is trying to keep MY OWN BRAIN from suffering hemorrhages.

Unlike people on all the other forums, these guys just jumped at the sight of my "Ark" signature. They even blindly believed that you would get banned for signing your posts on other forums. Well, it's been two days. I'm not banned from PHW yet.

I've become the bad kind of trendsetter. Just check out this thread:
http://boards.phwonline.com/showthread.php?t=26616

If you actually did check out the thread in question, you'll notice that despite the presence of such members as Popwarbunny, !!LL!!, and Lt_Commander, one guy who bears the title of "Respected Member" (for reasons I can't possibly fathom apart from these people's sheer idiocy) had the nerve to tell me my name sucks. ("OpCWAL", short for Operation CWAL, which stands for Can't Wait Any Longer)

This moron's alias is Space-Bar.

I'll leave the matter of where his name is on the scale of crap up to your individual selves. In my opinion though, his name ain't too far off from mine if what he says about my name is probably true.

I like typing in red or blue text. It just looks much better than standard black.

Problem is, Space-ar and some other guy named Monkfish (who has PHWplus to his name) think it's alright for them because of their apparently elevated status to tell me how I make posts. According to them, "red is the colour of fail", then "OpCWAL is the colour of fail". And no, they aren't mods.

Me>> I'm not a colour.
Space-Bar>> You are now.
Me>> I'll tell you what I told Monkfish: Don't tell me who or what I am.

Monkfish>> Stop signing your posts.
Me>> Go to hell.

Hunting-Wolf>> Your Ark signature is annoying...
Me>> How can you find something so incredibly menial and trivial to be annoying and irritating? FFS it's a three-letter word.
(Note: Hunting-Wolf actually hasn't perceptively bothered me about it lately, so I'm alright with him.)

And then there's Microbit, who has actually convinced himself that I am emo-shild and disturbed. Now I can understand disturbed, but EMO?! I haven't made a single "emo" thread or post on PHW as of yet, nor does he realise that I am strongly anti-emo.
And not only that, but he's been repeating it, often in the same thread. He just can't think of anything more to say than that. Thankfully, Darude pointed out that it was my avatar that convinced him of my supposed emo-ness.

Speaking of which, Ukranian_wez said rather bluntly that I have "a sucky avatar". I could easily say the same for his.

Or is it because my avatar isn't made from Garry's Mod?

Moron.

And then he says I need to change my attitude.

Am I the one telling people their avatars suck? That their posts suck? That I fail to realise my own stupidity?

No.

They are the ones who need to change their attitudes. Not me. Them.

Actually, Space-bar was the one who said that I'm blind to my own stupidity.

I've been extremely careful making sure that my posts do NOT contain stupidity in them. If anything in fact, the stupidity stems from him and his overall smugness/complacency. He's obviously relying on the anonymity of the internet.

Hell, everyone is.

In the last two years, I've been booted and banned off every Battle.net game I join that's being run by an American. Hell, those damn American juvenile preteens are so complacent that... okay here's a typical situation on Battle.net:

Me>> joins the game
Me>> starts downloading the map if I don't have it already
Player1>> go go
Creator>> boots/bans me just as I'm either DLing extremely fast or at over 70% finished
10 minutes later...
Player1 whispers>> wtf why'd you quit game fag? we lost because we were missing a player
Me whispers>> the creator booted me - I was BANNED.
Me whispers>> maybe if you didn't get impatient and say "go go", he wouldn't have done it...
Me whispers>> oh wait -of course he would! they always do regardless of consensus!

I swear that happens all the bloody time it's not funny. I join a game and I'm banned/booted just like that, just as I'm at 95% and/or DLing the map extremely fast.

Hell, sometimes I already have the map. The problem is, that half the time, the creator tries to start the game but can't because someone apparently hasn't DLed the map yet. Despite me saying numerous times that I've got this version of the map plus several others, he goes so far as to ban me. Then he finds he STILL can't start the map.

Asshole.

Finally, before I publich this comment, I'll rant about one more thing (*sigh sigh etc stfu*).

Literally EVERY SINGLE TIME I join a non-Use Map Settings game, you know, a REAL game that requires REAL SKILL and teamwork (team games ftw), the following occurrs:

1 - I'm the first one to be attacked.
2 - I'm ganged up on by all the opposing players.
3 - Both 1 and 2 happen simultaneously. It doesn't matter where I am on the map.

Yes, I acknowledge that's how the game sometimes goes. If I get killed off, I get killed off. I'm perfectly capable of dealing with it healthily. Actually, I don't even have to deal with it. It's so minor... well, I'd be saying that if I wasn't so afflicted with such bad luck.

How else would you explain it if you were the first to be attacked AND ganged up on by the entire enemy team at once in literally EVERY melee game you joined?

It's 4am, and I gotta go get some sleep.

Ark

PS: Oh, and uh, no offense to you few American Battle.net players who are actually decent and put the rest of your brethren to shame.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS F****ING GREAT IN THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



OMFG INTER-REALM BATTLEGROUNDS!!!!!!!

I haven't felt this excited since I really learned of the improvements made to the Mage class!

For those of you who don't remember: here's what I first thought of the Mage class changes.

* Evocation being removed from talents must mean that Mages no longer have Evocation
* Arcane Explosion talents that made the spell instant-cast are removed


Here's what Blizzard was REALLY doing:

* Arcane Explosion talents chaged from "Make AE an instant spell" to "Make it more likely to crit", and the default AE spell (without talents invested into it) becomes instant-cast
* Evocation is now a spell learnable by ALL Mages, regardless of individual talent point allocations

I actually thought I was excited as I could ever get when I found out about this last change, but Blizzard proved me dead wrong by making Battlegrounds inter-server!

Soon World of Warcraft will inherit the Earth... minus the players who undress their characters and engage in cybersex in Roleplaying servers.

(a very happy) Ark

Advertisement lol



Now, why exactly is it the "world's greatest 3d chat"?

Is it because it involves slutty-looking girls in school uniform?

Cybersex has gone to new heights.

Ark

Because I have no work experience...

That's just ghey.

I found out on Thursday, thanks to one of my nerd acquaintances, about a job at Video Ezy. Apparently they were hiring.

Aye.

Not a nice thing to hear about now, since they would be making the decision THIS weekend.

So I went with my acquaintance, Liam, to town straight after school. He had planned to go into Video Ezy that afternoon to pick up an application form.

Since I had missed out on my opportunity to pick up one at BP (a gas station, duh) earlier this term, I decided to accompany him.

So the four of us nerds/geeks/whatever went one way after school; first James departed from us as we approached the Baptist church nearby. Then, in town David split off to venture over to the town library like he always does, leaving me and Liam to walk over to Video Ezy to pick up the forms.

Oh fie! Turns out they were expecting people to drop off resumes instead. Oh well.

Liam had one lying somewhere in his house - somewhere.

As for me... well... at least he HAD a CV.

My one and only CV was cooked up two years ago in Life Skills (yes, it's an actual class in high school, Year 11's only) for a unit standard. Or was it an achievement standard? Nah, probably a unit standard, doesn't really matter anyway.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what grade I got, I managed to score an Achieved.

That's a C grade equivalent for you Americans.

When I took it home that day, my dad saw it and instantly disapproved. It was immediately obvious he didn't like it. Not one bit.

He made me burn it.

At least I think he made me burn it.

But it did end up burning in the fireplace, so it doesn't matter.

And he didn't like my latest haircut. I actually think it's rather snazzy, and looks good so I don't have to put hair product in it (the complete opposite of what everyone tells me at school).

My dad saw it and instantly disapproved AGAIN! Apparently he hated my "carpet of hair" on top of my comfortable-looking head.

He wanted me to get a haircut like Caleb Reyngoud's.

No bloody way. It's just NOT going to happen.

I've been getting that haircut for years - I had to do something different this time. And it was worth it. Now my acquaintance David will have to stop telling me to put gravel in my hair to make ti look better. And he has stopped rather noticeably already. :)

Problem is: EVERYBODY is telling me that I need to put product in my hair. Wax, gel, cream, you name it. And you should all know by now how annoyed I get at verbal repetition of phrases and sentences. More so, you should all know how annoyed I get when people keep telling me what I should and shouldn't do with my hair.

People were telling me I need to shave my legs for a couple of years back. That ain't happening.

The only thing getting shaved off is my burgeoning moustache, that's only every month or so.

No. Just no. Don't think about down there. Go away and tend to your television if you're gonna think like that. You sick bastard.

Oh right, my job application.

Anywho, back to the subject at hand:

Liam and I trudged back to the town library to see David and so we could play Magic: The Gathering until closing time.

When David came to greet us, the first thing that came out of his burp-hole was, "Oh look, here comes the geek brigade!"

Ain't he just awesome to his mates?

Anyway, we had a few games of Magic between us, and that was it for yesterday.

Today, I went to my dad's office. Now I find it extremely fortunate that he actually owns the business (which he co-founded, by the way :P) which occupies that building, but really, it didn't matter that much.

I had already contructed the beginnings of a CV and emailed it to him straight after I got home yesterday.

Today, when I turned up, he hadn't received it in his Inbox. Lovely...

So I spent the whole afternoon making the CV look good, and adding a bit more stuff to it.

Too bad there's barely anything to put on my CV, seeing as I have absolutely no work experience whatsoever.

See, I'm not even sure I can call it a CV. It's just a piece of paper with information typed onto it and a picture of myself taken this very afternoon.

Unfortunately, ALL OF THE PRINTERS just mysteriously stopped working as I tried in desperation to print my "CV" out so I could get it into Video Ezy before 4pm.

After several hours though, I finally managed to get it printed (in black and white though, so it doesn't look as attractive as it should have), and shortly before coming home I stopped by at Video Ezy to drop off my "resume". *roll eyes*

Turns out a good friend of mine works there already.

Note how I said friend.

So now it is all sorted, and I just hope I get the job, though that's very HIGHLY UNLIKELY due to my distinct lack of WORK EXPERIENCE. :(

Ah well, here's hoping...

Ark

Equilibrium-Teknopatia + To The Film Critics Who Hate Equilibrium



Gunfight scenes mixed with col techno music eh? Quite well done in my opinion.

Shows off all the cool gunfights in Equilibrium, though I wish critics would stop bagging it as just another Matrix rip-off. In my opinion, this film is way better.

And so help me if I find another film critic who says it's just another kung-fu combat film... hey guess what? IT HAS NO KUNG FU IN IT! It's called Gun Kata bitches, and it's a lot better and more efficient than kung fu in a gunfight.

STOP SAYING IT HAS KUNG FU!

You're bringing shame and to your name and revealing your ignorance when you say this film has kung fu in it.

And you know what else? Your opinion doesn't matter if you're a "professional" movie critic. Everybody's personal opinion of any given film is an individual opinion. I.e. despite what you say, that film you just wrote a scathing review about (in this case, Equilibrium) has shitloads of fans who see your words as nothing but bullshit.

The Matrix doesn't have to be the only movie with awesome gunfights and men in trenchcoats fighting each other in a futuristic world where a dystopian ruler/government has taken over Earth.

The storylines and backstories of Equilibrium and The Matrix series are strikingly different.

Shut up.

Besides, anybody can be a film critic these days.

You're just one of the many people in this world who hate Equilibrium as a film and may or may not have realized that there are just as many people who love this film as much as you abhor it.

The fact that you're a film critic employed by someone to criticise and rate movies doesn't make what you say any special (after all, you're only turning your personal opinion into an essay).

What did you say?

There are many elements you studied in university that are not normally known by the layperson that you know, and you incorporate THAT into your film reviews, you say?

You're basing your review on "key elements" of the film that the average person is unaware of (such as stuff that ISN'T lighting, plotline or quality of effects)?

Well you may not have guessed this yet, but the normal average person is indeed unaware of these elements you are using in your review, and thus he does not notice how bad the film is because of this.

In this case, I thought Equilibrium was brilliant.

But I'm just a fan after all.

If you're going to reviewing films, good or bad, your opinion won't matter because people have their own opinions.

How else could so many people love The Fast And The Furious?

I don't like that film, but I acknowledge gladly that films have fans.

And with instructions such as "keep away from this film, you will be disappointed" entered into your "reviews", I can only wonder just how far your smugness can reach.

People might not be disappointed. I guarantee that there will be at least ONE person who will like, or even love, ANY given film out there.

Your instructions and judgements on the fanbase of a film are futile. Very futile.

Ark

I'm a love-starved son of a bitch... + BEBO

Leanne if you're reading this you're AWESOME. ;)

Fanciful stalkerishness aside, my Bebo page is finally up and running. Woot!

http://ffs-dontcare.bebo.com

Visit it, bitches.

Now onto the real update...

Since my ever benevolent Media Design and Computing Level 3 teacher is forcing me to engage in the Web Challenge (or whatever it's called), seeing as she (and other teachers) apparently really likes my sense of humour, demented as it is, I've opted to repeat what I tried to do last time she forced me to do this.

I'm going to design a webpage on what can only be described as lewd and disgusting by my dear friends the fundamentalist Christians.

I'm going to do Sex Education.

Ooh ooh ooh! I could put my dark sense of humour to real use and compile a nice short list of safety rules!

It'll be the latest craze after caffeinated condoms (to keep you awake in case you find your boyfriend boring in bed - falling asleep? Just give head!) O_O

In fact, in light of this, I present to you my "flavourable" list of SAFETY RULES:

1 - Put the animal down.
2 - Put the child down.
3 - Bananas are soft, and phones are electrical.
4 - If by yourself, use sterilised artificial stimuli (ie clean dildos). Don't forget to wash your hands.
5 - Stay away from the arse.

That's right. Putting your tongue there WILL result in at least a liberal dose of salmonella. Your fingers will be required to be steam-cleaned for at least 72 hours straight before they can be used again. And there's no telling what your partner's eaten in the last few hours... It's best that you don't try to tell what he/she's eaten by checking the shit that's lodged on your finger(s)/special appendage.

Just take into account the following two rules: doing your pets = mechanical isolation OR hybrid inviability, and doing your sister/brother/cousin = hybrid breakdown OR hybrid sterility.

(Finally, a use for those terms I learned in Biology the other day!)

Remember kids, anal is banal. And it hurts.

Ark

(No, I haven't tried it or been in bed with anyone. Shut up.)

WTF is she on?

She's cute, but she's either on drugs or she's stupid in the head.



And just who is responsible for corrupting the young, fragile mind of this fairest of handmaidens (who just also happens to be another New Zealander like me)?

Dr Seuss.

Son of a bitch.

Other videos by this strangely entertaining young lady are listed below:
Re: Hope Is Emo - Chapter 1: Words Are Dying
Driving With Leanne
Re: I'm So Kevin Spacey
Chronicles of Pollock: Episode 4
To My Subbies (and shit)

*shudder* Damnit she's like one of those poisonous sirens that lure you with infinite beauty... shit...

Ark

JPEGS of the Day (just stfu)

This what happens when Hermione gets slightly up there...

My Day As A Dancing Bear

Ah back when I had a Druid (Ravenlore) on Boulderfist...

This takes me back.





The cool thing about entertaining Crossroads regulars is that we didn't have to put up with heavy iron chains or collars. We were FREE BEARS!

Whuppa Whuppa Whuppa

Righto.



After playing CounterStrike: Source with a bunch of immature shits for a while now, I'm feeling a tad pissed.



See, CSS is just one of those games that are R16 (where I live) and it is a big boy's game. It is a game for big boys who love violence on a gratuitous and hilarious scale.



Yes, I know the VoIP function is the working equivalent of a cat in torpor.



Yes, I realise it may cause anyone's voices to reach our ears as a) that of an Australian teenage male whose voice is in the process of breaking, b) that of a small child with the vocabulary of an average teenager who isn't a girl, and c) that of a middle-aged housewife who just got back from her adult education classes.



Out of those three choices, there is one I do not ever want to come across ever again.



Now I realise that it is none of my business whether you play a game you are too young to play.



You're an idiot.



Games like CSS have an age rating for a reason.



See, by the age shown/implied on the rating itself, it is assumed that by that specific age you are properly mentally equipped to accept this information coming to you from your second-hand monitor sitting on your "special desk".



Are you at least 16 years of age yet? Are you at least 15?



You're not?



Then get the fuck off my server, bitch.



I've had enough of your pretentious whining about "haxing" and "exploiting".



So what if that CT got up to that spot you previously thought wasn't possible to reach and shot you dead?



It's called skill, bitches. Get used to it.



Either way, I am sick of hearing what sounds to me like a super-intelligent toddler whinging into his microphone everytime he gets killed by someone with far superior skill than him.



Let me say this straight:



This game is for people who have grown pubic hairs at least once in their lives.



If you haven't had that opportunity yet, disconnect and uninstall the game from that toybox you call your mum's computer.



I don't want to hear anyone with the voice of an infant crying everytime they get shot, hurdled, raped, owned, "pwned", laughed at, dissed, knifed or 'naded. I don't want to see you underage idiots replying to every rebuttal to your petty arguments with childish messages such as "yo mum".



"Yo mum" doesn't give a shit about the fact that you're losing at this game.



If you're gonna persist in joining our servers and playing alongside us real man gamers, at least play with honour and decency, good gamesmanship and example. And refrain from butchering the English language in game chat and using your microphone to get your voice across.



Don't make it known that you are a young preteen pretending to grow his first chest hair.



Shut the hell up and leave now before I dismember your members.



That is all.

Dust, Dust, Dust, Dust, Dust2? nah. Dust, Dust, Dust...

Alternate Title: Enough with the Arab-themed levels!

I've been playing CounterStrike: Source for quite a while now, and DAMN is it ever sweet!

Problem is, however, there is a certain handful of maps I'd like to see stricken from the maplist.

Not the least of which is de_dust, and its inbred cousin de_dust2.

I don't mind these levels. In fact, I'm perfectly alright with playing on a desert-themed map once or twice a night...

... but DAMNIT why the HELL does every single server I join happen to be playing de_dust or de_dust2 (usually the former) whenever I join it?! Or when I join it, it turns into de_dust.

Just now I disconnected from a server in a disgruntled manner because we were playing on one of my all-time favourite maps... but noooooooo. Some douchebag wanted a map change...

So the two admins who are currently playing decide unanimously to change the map from cs_compound to... yep, you guessed it... de_dust.

Even worse, instead of a instant painless map change, it sprung up in the form of a vote between YES and NO.

Guess which prevailed...

I've had enough of de_dust and de_dust2. It's the only map I've been playing on for any decent amount of time just waiting for the next map to come up. Why oh WHY does there have to be an Extend By 20 Minutes option in the last round of a sizeable number of the de_dust matches I've been so torturably embroiling myself in?! Whenever de_dust is about to change, I'm cringing with excitement (yes, it's been that long since I've properly engaged in another map for more than five seconds)! But then suddenly, the Extend By 20 Minutes vote springs its ugly head and I end up suffering for another 20 fucking minutes.

I've had enough of the desert maps, people!

That's all I'm trying to say!

It's been months since I've played cs_militia too.

*sigh*

The last thing I want is more reminders of America's hypnotized troops invading Middle Eastern countries...

Sadness incarnate...

I was gearing up for xLAN when I found out that my mum had prepaid for me too late and there were total 695 people who had prepaid, of whom the event can only carry 650. So naturally, I was bummed... (not literally - Ed)

Then I found out I had been put on a waiting list of the remaining 45 people. One of the event's organisers had posted the waiting list in order of the people who were listed on the bank statement... I was eighth. Eighth. Now you tell me I'm not going to get in.

Turns out she was talking with the electricians about whether the event could hold all of the people on the waiting list. Then it hit the fan...

Shortly after, she got back to us with news that out of the 45 people on the waiting list (I was 8th, remember?), the event could hold 42 extras. FORTY-TWO people out of FORTY-FIVE!!!

SHIT I FEEL LUCKY!

Gotta feel sorry for the other 3 people who didn't make it though. GG.

So now it ain't long to go before I'm shanking alongside 691 other gamers and somewhat 30+ crew members taking time off to game with us. Thanks to the organisers of xLAN for getting most of us in. :D

*sob*

*sniff*

Hug me...

Moronic idiots I would like to castrate outside CS:S

I apologize in advance for the excess swearing this post may or may not involve...

Okay this situation is really bugging me. I've been banned from a certain CS:S server. Now I'm not pissed off about the fact that I've been banned, but rather the apparent reason behind it.

Over the course of two nights, I found that the New Zealand servers were STILL offline (hurry up and bring them back, ya bastards) so I had to resort to playing with temperamental Australians and incredibly shitty lag.

Firstly, let's get one thing straight. YOU ASSHATS HAVE NO IDEA HOW INCREDIBLY DUMB YOU SOUND WHEN YOU YELL OVER YOUR MICROPHONE AT ME WHEN I REMARK ABOUT THE CROWDEDNESS OF THE SERVER.
The only bad thing is, pretty much everyone else on the server is a stupid drongo, so their idiocy goes unnoticed.

Now bear in mind I don't see ALL Australians as stupid angry drongos who let loose their verbal rage at the drop of a hat. I'ts just that these guys were in fact stupid angry drongos who let loose their verbal rage at the drop of a hat. I'm not kidding.

One night, I'm playing a nice game of CS:S. I join this server, cuz it's got the lowest ping.

At aout 5:30pm (remember this bit, you'll see why), I make a remark about "how crowded the server is getting tonight". Then all hell breaks loose on the intercom. I'm instantly flooded with all manner of swearing and cursing, all directed straight at me. Why? Because of this word: TONIGHT. Apparently, those Aussie f***s can't seem to realise that they live in a different f***ing timezone, and I'm so very tempted to mute the in-game voices as they all calmly (read: loudly and obnoxiously) explain that it's 3:35 and therefore it is still daytime, not night. Then I tell them I'm in New Zealand and it's 5:35 and THERE IS A TOTAL ABSENCE OF SUNLIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW!

Then they try to redeem themselves by saying "Well yeah but night is at 6:00 you retard."

O rly?

Then I get this one guy in particular who starts swearing at least four times as much as his teammates on his microphone. He hurls all these useless, retarded insults at me, and I tell him that it's only a game, and if he's gonna get angry over such a small thing, he needs to turn off his machine, throw it in the local trash heap and FFS get out more! Socialize! Asshole.

Then he tells me that I "don't f***in' belong here, you f***in' s***head, d/c and f*** off. You're a New Zealander, f*** off and go back to your own f***in' server."

At this point, I'm just about ready to board a plane ticket and head over to his house so I can personally rearrange his private bodily areas. Honestly, people like him really piss me off, both in real life and in games. If my broadband company wasn't such a pack of douchebags, I'd be owning him up with superior ping.

Then, tonight, I get into another freakin' argument with who seems to be the same guy. Only this time it's over NOTHING AT ALL. It's so minor, I can't even remember what the fight was about in the first place. And it was only ten minutes ago! Yet I hear him say to me over his mike, "You're an idiot."

Then I get banned.

Guys like that f***wad get pissed off so easily 'cause of small, minor remarks not even directed at anyone or anything in particular.

Guys like me get pissed off so easily 'cause of guys like that f***wad.

Get off the f***in' server, dips***.

"Hi, I'm Kerry and I'm 18 years old...

... and it's my site's 2 year anniversary!"

How many times have you tried to find a likeable source of porn whose main page DOESN'T say this? Quite a few, you say? Lawl.

Guess how many of those sites say pretty much that.

ALL OF THEM!

I mean ffs I remember somebody's site (whose name I shall not divulge except by the name Apricay Ordanjay >_>) being there two years and and she's saying in a bubbly sort of chat room speak, "Hi! I'm 18 years old! Welcome to my site", etc. Now it's two years later and she's apparently still 18.

Porn makes me laugh. :D

Servants o the Most High - Christian-based guild - My Comments

Well this is interesting. I just found this thread in the Boulderfist forums and to say the least it has grabbed my interest. Now I wouldn't mind being a part of this guild myself but I have still yet to get a gamecard (and a job to boot).

Here is the post that started it all.

REROLL IN ALEXTRASZA REALM (PvE) AND BE A PART OF A CHRISTIAN THEMED GUILD!

If you are looking for a fun, clean, family safe environment this guild is for you. You are not required to be a Christian to join. All are welcome! See our policy and purpose below.

We now have 25+ members and are continually growing. We also have a website http://servantsothemosthigh.guildportal.com. We are currently seeking members of all experience.

We are looking for more active players, but casual players are welcome, too.

Objectives are:
1. To provide a friendly atmosphere for Players of WoW.
2. Help each other develop toward end-game content.
3. Assist each other with normal PvE game play.


This can be accomplished by:
1. Being friendly.
2. Sharing and passing on equipment.
3. Assisting players with quests and instances when available.

Guild Policy:
1. Show respect to all members of the guild.
2. Use good judgment and show respect to all players outside of the guild, as you are not only representing yourself, but the guild as a whole, along with the general Christian community as well. Be responsible.
3. No profanity or jokes of sexual nature (no profane abbreviations either).
4. No inappropriate names.
5. No debates in guild chat. If anything such as this may happen, try forming a party and discuss the issue there.

Meshech - GM
Arames - Officer
Stoutfist - Officer
Pucelle - Officer

Click here to apply for membership http://servantsothemosthigh.guildportal.com or send mail or pst to any of the officers above.


Okay. Here are my responses to the following people:

Rolli: STFU or GTFO. Freedom of religion (which Christianity ISN'T btw) obviously does not register with you, cuz you seem to want to make fun of us Christians who don't follow the direction of those fundamentalist Christians you've probably based your entire view on Christianity on.

Oxus: There's nothing in the Bible that says we can't do things for fun, like playing WoW. A Christian's life is NOT just about charity and giving to others. You're an idiot as well if you're gonna support having these guys get ganked purely cuz of this.

Gruber: Christianity isn't a religion. Only ignorant people call it that. And while you are right about innocent people being killed in the name of 'religion', these killings were ALL COMMITTED BY EXTREME FUNDAMENTALISTS AND PEOPLE WHO TOOK THEIR BELIEFS AND INTOLERANCES TOO FAR. Hell, girls thought to be witches back in the Middle Ages were burned at the stake by fundamentalists.

Angrybovine: The fact that you pointed out that " Discussing religion is a violation of the terms of service." kind of suggests to me you don't like it when you see Christianity being discussed,
you get uncomfortable or you just outright hate Christianity. Normally people couldn't give a crap about it being discussed. In other words you are implying your intolerance.

Thetickler: I'm sure that if the guild is comprised of people who play characters who emulate and use virtual magic and go around killing NPCs and perhaps other players occasionally, they'll more than likely allow Warlocks. They seem to understand it's all fictional. :?

Exhumed: Yeah I would probably agree with you on that one... except that they are opting for a FAMILY-FRIENDLY guild. And we all know it's highly unpleasant to hear little kids swearing their mouthes off all around you.

Okay now that that's done, I wish to address Meshech and his prospective guild of fellow Christians.

Meshech: I have no real gripe with your policies. Not even the policy regarding profanity. After all, you ARE opting for a FAMILY-FRIENDLY guild, and just in case your kids are watching you play, you'd be worried that they might read certain words in the chat log - in which case the profanity filter (which I've turned OFF) works wonders.

And that's my $0.02.

Ark

Arrogant - I can't tell if this is a joke...


Here's the post that started the thread, player's name and all.

Boulderfist server on WoWwiki



Funny thing is, I know the guy who wrote that stuff on WoWwiki's Boulderfist server page.

Don't know why he'd mention me, though.

I take back what I said about Blizzard...

Well I seem to be taking back remarks a lot lately.

In the Pure Pwnage forums I was informed of something that directly contradicts what my former suspicions were - so instead of wanting the genius who thought these new talents up, I want him to be showered in gifts and kisses by beautiful women!

Thanks to the following poster for opening my eyes to the truth! Instead of making things much worse, Blizzard has only made things much better! Now, Faxmonkey can continue to own Alliance in his special way!



Blizzard is t3h s3x3h. >_0

WTF?!

I just spotted a thread made by Greattane. His post humorously reads:

To all it may concers:


This here is the official decleration of war towards all the foul races of the "HORDE".
The charges are as follows.
We have declared war upon all the members of the horde for the following charges.

1.THE UNANOUNCED INVASION OF THE ORCS UPON THE PLANET OF AZEROTH.

2.THE SECOND ORC WAR WHERE ONCE MORE THE ORCS TRIED TO RISE AND KILL ALL THAT IS LIGHT.

3. THE COMING OF THE BURNING LEGION AND THE CURRENT AFFILIATION OF THE HORDE WITH THE UNDEAD ABOMINATIONs and FREAKS OF NATURE THAT JUST SHOULD NOT BE.

4. NOT CONVERTING YOURSELFS WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD AND ASSUMING THE COMMON LANGUAGE.

5. CENTURIES AND DECADES OF SLAUGHTER, PILLAGE AND PLUNDER FROM THE MEMBERS OF THE HORDE UPON THE FAIR PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD.

While the above charges are laid out against the member states of the horde and all of the Green skinned Furry and undead folk will pay with their lives (including your Females, Young ones, elderly and infirm) for the charges mentioned above.

Our first strike target will be the BAND of abominations calling themselfs INFESTE NEX.


THE HORDE HAVE TOO LONG BEEN ALLOWED TO ROAM AROUND THIS PLANET DESTROYING ITS FRAGILE NATURE.



We are calling out to ALL the Races of the Alliance to aid us in this struggle for the LIGHTS blessing upon all of us.

Help rid this planet once and for all of the the HORDE.


ONLY TERMS OF SURRENDER ACCEPTABLE FOR OUR FIRST TARGET: INFESTES NEX (as per council declaration)

1. NO INFESTES NEX TAGS UPON THIS WORLD, OUR WAR WILL NEVER STOP UNTILL THE COMPLETE ANIHALATION OF ALL THE BEASTS UNDER THIS TAGS

2. ANY HORDE BEING SEEN INTERACTING OR WORKING WITH THIS FOUL BAND OF BRIGANDS WILL BE GANkED UNTILL THE INTERACTION IS CEASED

3.ANY ONE REMOVING THE TAG WILL HAVE TO BOW BEFORE OUR MEMBERS THEN THEY WILL REGAIN REGULAR HORDE STATUS.At this point they be ganked to the extend all other horde are.


As for any alliance members that are interested in joining our WORLD wide struggle we have a promotion event.

BOUNTY HUNTER PROGRAM

The first 25 screenshots of different corpses

of all infeste nex kills will be rewarded 10 gold


Conditions :

1. Screenshots can be of the same corpse, however they have to be identifiable as different kills.

3.There can not be a member of VB active in your party at the time of the kills.

2. Mail me ingame for reward claiming details.

YOU CHALENGED US INFESTE NEX. YOU WANTED A WAR AND NOW YOU GOT ONE.

Hahahahhaahahh hey guess what: this AIN'T no RP server nubcake.

/drunk

1.11 Mage Talent Gripe - Official + Unofficial apology to Alliance of Boulderfist

So it's true. Evocation is being replaced by Arcane Resilience.

I have this quote from the official World of Warcraft site:
Some of the aspects the class designers will be looking to improve include easing a mage's downtime between fights and opening some new, interesting talent builds through changes to all the mage's talent trees.

Well then. I'm interested. I'm interested in finding out why the hell Improved Arcane Explosion is being changed from Instant AE to Increased Chance of Crit with AE.

I've also noted that these guys are saying that they're "easing a mage's downtime", yet they are replacing Evocation (an ability which gains back a lot of your mana in ten seconds, which greatly reduces your downtime) with a useless talent that gives you a menial amount of armor.

Why do it?

This small increase in armor is incredibly meaningless. Oh look, I can block an extra 5% of damage now. Maybe less. Maybe slightly more. That Rogue's Ambush won't crit me for 662 damage anymore - now it will only crit me for around 611! Whoop-dee-freakin'-doo!

I'm going to reword my earlier phrase about the best mages not getting hit in melee at all:
Sure, in a fight you will take some hits, but your damage output and manueverability as well as your ability to snare multiple opponents at once can actually overcompensate for this! Why spoil it, Blizzard? Now a lot of us are going to have to rethink our strategies and change the way we fight.

Finally, I'd like to apologize fopr my rude generalisations made against the players of Alliance characters on Boulderfist. However, exceptions are still there, and they include those cocky Alliance 60s who stealth and Ambush me for over 1000 damage and then /spit on my corpse, as well as lower level players who /spit and /rude me, because I will then immediately unleash my frozen wrath on them. Also, Trolldotcom sucks considerable ass, and so do any players who reply to a lot of messages both in-game and on-forum with "Cry more" or similar, even if the original message or post was NOT moaning or complaining about something.

Apart from that, I've come to respect a lot of the Alliance players, especially the twinks. I'll make you a deal: you don't gank me in a contested territory, and I'll refrain from summoning reinforcements to kill you. Hell, I'll leave you alone to your questing and you leave me alone to mine. I know it's a PvP server, but at least show some gamesmanship by not taking on players who are at least 20 levels lower than you. It kind of gets irritating to be continually slain by some arrogant 60 who seems hellbent on stopping you from completing a certain quest and even goes so far as to stealth and camp your corpse or wait at the entrance of the instance he killed you in (ie BFD).

Post-Patch Mage Spec Build - But No Evocation!



I honestly see no logical reason why Blizzard is getting rid of Instant Arcane Explosion and Evocation: we mages NEED them if we're going to fight off a good number of mobs at once! Hell, I have always made it a point to USE Evocation whenever I can, whenever I'm incredibly low on mana and need it in the next 10 seconds! It has been such a useful skill for me on its own.

Now Blizzard is killing it and replacing it with a 1-point talent called Arcane Resilience that increases your armor by 50% of your total Intellect. WTF?!?! If this were 50% of MANA, I'd probably get it. But there's a point to be made:

THE BEST MAGES NEVER GET HIT IN MELEE! I mean why the hell do I need any more armor when I'm goin to be Frost Nova-ing, Cone of Cold-ing and Instant Arcane Exploding my way through upwards of five mobs at a time?! This is why I have the old Frostbolt+Fireball+Mana Shield+Arcane Missiles routine implanted into my brain for any fight with a melee mob!

Would I be happy with an Intellect of 167? For a 33 mage, yes. Would I even care about an increase in armor equal to 50% of 167, rounded either up or down? Hell no.

At least they didn't stuff up the Frost tree though, but the point remains that I REALLY NEED INSTANT ARCANE EXPLOSION and EVOCATION! Somebody torch the office of the Blizzard employee who thought up the idea of mages needing a negligible increase in armor, and letting it replace Evocation.

Now all I have to worry about is how Faxmonkey, one of the most respected mages in the game (he lives on Blackrock btw), is going to cope without Evocation and Instant Arcane Explosion, as these two skills make up a sizable amount of his tactics both in general gameplay and in his infamous videos.

*sniff*

An open letter to Trolldotcom

Log off and cry more noob. Since you're threatening to continuously gank and camp me and my corpse until I delete my characters off the server (all because of this blog's existence), I've deduced that you need to get out more and realise that I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS BLOG.

I already acknowledge this blog is sucky, and I still don't care. But you obviously do.

So stop trolling people's threads on the Boulderfist forums about my blog. Everybody knows about my blog, and they know it sucks. Even I know it sucks. You have no need to shove it down people's throats (much like you do to your terrier every night).

Log off life. I'm superior to you in terms of maturity and sensibilities, yet do I troll people's threads about it? No.

Besides, my account game time ends in a few hours. So you won't be ganking me anytime soon. >:D

QQ noob. QQ.

EDIT: Okay I'm going to reword what I just said. What's been written below pretty much sums it up.



1 - Stop hiding behind a Level 1 character on another server and reveal yourself.

2 - If you hate my blog so much, why don't you give me some suggestions so as to run it better?

3 - You stay true to your name: you troll other people's threads just to say how much my blog sucks. Get over yourself, noob.

4 - If you're going to vow a lifetime of ganking and camping until "you delete your arse off Boulderfist" due entirely to this blog, then you obviously have some problems.



As I said: QQ

Sh*tstorm

Can somebody please tell me WTF a 31 paladin doing at Fargodeep Mine killing all the level 7 kobolds?



I actually played cat and mouse with him deep within the mine for a bit before luring him across the river to Duskwood territory so I could wail on him for... well... being a paladin. You know how much I hate paladins.



I accidentally leveled up to 30 while looking for low level Allies to gank in Duskwood (uh, just getting revenge you know >_>) so I guess that's "karma" for you. Now I have to level up to 39 before I can be any useful in the 30-39 WSG bracket.

Almost there...

I've got less than a bar left to go before I level up to 30. Then I can buy that cape. :D

Still haven't found a match in WSG yet since my last entry, but got some new equipment and completed all but one quest in Blackfathom Depths. Hell if I'm going down there again, but I really need that wand...

Oh well. Cookie's Stirring Rod will do for now...

1000 Health, 2400 Mana

Damn right.

Also got to level 29. Now I'm going to give WSG another chance before I move on, because I'm not that far away from the rank of Sergeant. In fact, if my PvP ranking honor bar were made of a line of small dots, I would only have to get 1 dot of honor in order to achieve the rank of Sergeant. Very close, indeed.

After that, I might buy the level 30 Sergeant's cloak that provides a healthy Stamina boost, and then level up to 30 so I can wear it.

At the moment I'm considering going to Arathi Highlands for my next zone, as I'm rather sick of the desert look of most zones in Kalimdor. However, it seems that Arathi Highland's NPCs are quite tough, so I may have to go to the Thousand Needles or Desolace instead. To be honest, I'd much rather stay in the Eastern Kingdoms.

I'm going to finish up all my remaining quests in Ashenvale and stuff, such as killing Ordanus. Then I'll venture to a different zone to start off.

Meanwhile, I'm not gonna be able to get into WoW for a week, and I've only got 2 weeks left on my account, so that's just the ghey.

Ark's equipment/talents

I'd like some feedback on the equipment I currently have. At the moment, I'm level 27.

Cookie's Stirring Rod (Wand)
Crescent Staff (Weapon)
Azure Silk Hood (Head)
Azure Silk Vest (Chest) (Enchanted +50 HP)
Shredder Operating Gloves (Hands)
Nightwind Belt (Waist)
Azure Silk Pants (Legs)
Greenweave Sandals of Frozen Wrath (Feet)
Totemic Clan Ring (Finger)
Ring of Scorn (Finger)
Insignia of the Horde (Trinket)
Ivycloth Bracelets of the Owl (Wrists, Green) - 17 armor, +3 Int, +3 Spi, Durability 25/25, Requires Level 20, Bind on Equip, Cloth.
Tabar Mantle (Shoulder, Green) - 30 armor, +3 Sta, +6 Int, Bind on Pickup, Cloth.
Resilient Cape (Back, Green) - 21 armor, +6 Int, Bind on equip, Requires Level 24

Ark's Talents (archaic pre-patch):
Improved Arcane Missiles 5/5 (100% chance to avoid interruption while casting Arcane Missiles.)
Arcane Concentration 5/5 (10% chance to activate Clearcasting when your damage spell hits its target.)
Evocation 1/1 (Activate this spell to make your mana regen active and increase mana regen by 1500%.)
Permafrost 5/5 (Increases duration of Chill effects by 3 seconds.)
Ice Shards 2/5 (Increases critical strike damage bonus of Frost spells by 40%. Once I get all 5 points into this, it goes to 100%.)

That's it for a level 27 mage. I'm pretty much done with the Arcane Tree. Now I'll be focusing on the Frost tree and pumping as many points as I can into it. In the meantime, I wouldn't mind some feedback on my current equipment and talent build - especially my equipment.

Ark

Talent Revokation

Aye. I simply don't have the energy to try and talk like RP or whatever. Man, I'm just too tired these days to even attempt it, so I'm just gonna give up the whole RP crap right here, right now.



I've gotten my mage Arkaine to quest for enough money to revoke his talent selections. Now, instead of being Fire-specced, he is staying true to his own name and has become ARCANE-specced! Along with a bit of Frost, for good measure. With my talent points back, I reinvested them in Permafrost (Frost), and in Evocation, Improved Arcane Missiles, and the Clearcasting thing. Ah, so much better. And anyway, Pyroblast wasn't worth it. The long cast time was not good at all.



I'm still deciding if I should get mostly Arcane or Frost, Presence of Mind or Ice Barrier. Hmm.



Probably Frost, I guess.



Meanwhile, Arkaine has leveled up twice thanks to endless bouts of Warsong Gulch, speaking of which the Alliance have recently shaped up and actually started winning. And to make things worse, Horde players weren't really following orders. Especially in Arathi Basin. Graaaaagh!



Oh yeah, and I joined the guild Katara. I'm not sure what to think about the tabard design, but I'll go along with it. Thumbs up to that Canada guild I saw though, their tabard design is suh-weet!



One of my (real-life) friends came up with some... names for WoW characters. Think about it. I mean, what if you came along and saw a character like these?



Elvish

{Presley}



Ichiban

{Liptick For Men}



And the catchphrase: All orc and no play.



One last note: I appreciate the many, many comments I've been getting (Pfft! I don't see any comments... - Ed), but please try to clarify on your comments. That last one I got was quite blurry in meaning, and I accidentally deleted it while I attempted to contemplate its purpose. :P

Warsong FTW




((Yeah.

Gratz to all on the Horde's side, especially Darona, Cronex, Mondowomon and Wizzest, who gained the most "aggro" from our team members. Damn dwarven priests.

I've also rekindled my hatred of gnomes and paladins. Hoo-hah!

Of all the matches I've played tonight in WSG, the Alliance lost every single one of them, and I leveled up to 24.

And yes, I am aware that I am last on the Horde side of the list. That's because I only joined in the last five minutes.

But we absolutely dominated, didn't we? That's all that matters.

Oh yeah, and I must mention that the Alliance players on Boulderfist, my server, are very sloppy: all they're missing are skills and a character suicide button. They might as well give up when they're down to 63hp and surrounded by three Rogues/Magi. But no, they have to be vigilant.

At least they're not cowards, though. I'll give them that.

Also, all WSG matches went incredibly fast. The Alliance didn't stand a chance of surviving even over 15 minutes! Appalling, really.

Arkaine out! *salute*))

A guild-changing experience

Since my last journal entry, I have recovered the use of several of my old teleportation spells, including my lost ability to "blink" in and out of trouble at will. I've also self-developed the ability to continue purposefully channeling my fireballs so that I may launch more potent spheres of searing white pain at my assailants-turned-victims.
Guild-wise, I've since resigned from my position in the Instruments of Death, and joined the Marching Hammers. Then I ended my membership with them as soon as another, more promising guild made the call. I am now a member of DESECRATE - complete with kick-ass tabard design. And the colours fit so well with my new robe as well.

I'm thinking about heading into Ashenvale. I know I've had enough of Stonetalon and its dishonorable dwarven paladins. Why did they even let the dwarves into the Silver Hand in the first place? They aren't quite as nimble, but their only real advantage is that they have an unearthly toughness about them. At least your innate proficiency with guns is quite useless once you become a holy knight. I know I wouldn't want to be in the central path of a dwarf's bullet, any time.

Crap, Alliance reinforcements...

Instruments of Death

Hoohah! I am now a proud new member of a guild, snappily entitled the "Instruments of Death". And what perfect timing as well, because I've only just managed to scrape the beginning of my fire power. Soon I will regain my ability to launch a massive ball of flame that deals abso-f***ing-lutely HUGE damage. Just gotta channel for 6 seconds, and then "it's clobberin' time!" as said by one of my new guild-mates during our trip to the Orgrimmar guild master's area. He's a Warrior.

I mention this because soon after joining the Instruments of Death, I found that I would have to spend my hard-earned cash on buying a guild tabard. Too bad I'm wearing a DALARAN WIZARD'S ROBE!!! Other comrades who have been in this war as long as I have will know what I'm talking about: the aesthetic value will be ruined. Anyway, I simply refused to spend my own money on a tabard, and instead asked our guild master, oddly named "Katoom", to give me the gold I needed. See, heaps of us lower members who "can't afford it" had to meet Katoom in Orgrimmar, where he would hook us up with the gold. After waiting a while, I became impatient, got the gold from Katoom (as I already said), and bought the tabard. As I suspected, I looked terrible, but at least I got that tabard business off my back... I hope.



In other news, I thought it would be fun to try and disrupt the powers-that-be who run the regional centaur congregations. First I scoped out the Stagnant Oasis and the Forgotten Pools, both places I had already been to at least once before. Then, after I mercilessly slaughtered the centaur leaders there, I then moved onto the lushwater Oasis, which just happens to be where the Wailing Caverns are situated. The centaurs there were considerably stronger, and there is also a powerful hydra or some other kind of water creature hiding in the lake in front of the Caverns' entrance.

I killed and killed until the Centaur leader, Hezrul Bloodmark, came rushing along to investigate with his kindly bodyguards. Then all hell broke loose.

Needless to say, I snagged Bloodmark's head, and all was well. It was only a simple matter of using my favoured Polymorph and Frost Nova spells to good effect. His bodyguards proved difficult to Polymorph in the end, but I escaped with my "life" intact.



Then the Kolkar centaurs came all the way from the Thousand Needles to avenge their leaders here in the Barrens. And I'm talking about a HUGE army. It was like they were appearing out of nowhere! I kill one, and three more appear to take its place.



I received some help from kind Horde members who had come to stop this invasion by the Centaurs as well. Together, with the aid of the local Horde outpost soldiers, we crushed the Centaur invasion and our friendly Tauren brute was kind enough to behead the Centaur general for me when my attack backfired. So much for the glory for the kill.

Anyway, I got a shiny new ring. It seems to be imbued with magical energies. Whenever I put it on, I feel faster and slightly stronger. Too bad I'm a MAGE, not some warrior or assassin. They would benefit more from this ring, but for some reason, it is "binded" to me. I tried to throw it into the oasis, but it just came flying back to hit me in the eye socket. Oh well, at least it's stylish.

Another day, another Infernal attack...

Okay, what the hell is going on? I've had to put up with yet another Infernal attack today, plus the incursion of two folks from the Alliance. They weren't quite as powerful as the recent attacks by that Gnome Rogue... but man, they were ANNOYING! I ran after that human rogue in the hopes of Frost Nova-ing him, so I could beat the crap out of him with my magic, but nooooooo. Some powerful Troll riding a raptor (I had no idea dinosaurs still existed in these turbulent times!!!) comes riding up to me and kills the bloody human with a few shots from his guns. Then we get word a few seconds later of some Night Elves who thought it would be funny to venture down from Darkshore and camp out the Wailing Caverns entrance.



At least I made some progress. I still have yet to go to Ratchet, but I somewhat managed to complete a few of my objectives - most notingly the slaughter of at least 20 bloody turtles. I wasn't too happy about it. But it wasn't quite as bad as... well, let's just say I've made a new enemy in the form of the roaming Barrens HYENAS!!!!!! They just don't stop intervening in my fights with other lifeforms or animals. Everytime I get into a brawl with someone or something, at least one hyena somehow appears out of nowhere and joins my adversaries in trying to make me a meal. Not that I'd taste good - I'm a bloody corpse! Not some walking basted turkey... Go eat that human rogue over there... wait a minute...



[1. LocalDefense] Arkaine: its that f***ing human rogue again, heading to Ratchet! Jessex! Go kill it!

Dead infernal looks like Dreadsteed dookie...

My psychiatrist will be happy to know I'm starting to come to terms with my homo... erm, undead... ness. Hell, it took me 3 hours of searching the entire region of Tirisfal for a sunscreen vendor before I finally realised: your phobia of melanoma now longer applies when you're dead! Now if only it were the same for your fear of roaches...

Some poor tauren fell off the blimp during the flight - the co-pilot just laughed it off while his overseer mumbled something inaudible into his microphone. Well, I supposed the Warchief would have sent some sort of crack navy team or what-rather to retrieve his body... except for the fact that I saw that very same tauren at the Crossroads some few hours later. Man, I always knew they were tough. The boffins over at Dalaran have NO idea!

I think my reputation is bigger than I thought, 'cause the Warchief had me summoned, er, DRAGGED to his side by some guy called Runthak. When I commented on the dragon's head impaled on a giant spike as an impressive decoration, he just growled and said nothing. Turns out the Warchief was short on time so he needed me to do a favour for him: slaughter orc rebels at a place called Skull Rock. He described the place, and I vaguely remembered spotting a similar-looking cave entrance on the coast as I was flying over. So I go over there, right? Ooh, a scary-looking figure with huge biceps and shiny bracelets comes out of the cave. I recognised him as a Voidwalker - human warlocks seemed to take Voidwalkers as a popular pet while I was still alive.
So I kill the Voidwalker... then his master comes out and starts shouting something in a language I don't understand. Then I get hit by a burst of shadowy pain. Only it wasn't pain - it actually tickled. The dead don't feel pain, but the orc will, I thought. Then another orc comes out, brandishing a sword as if to threaten me. Fine, I think. Let them come to me.
I create an explosion of energy around me, throwing the orc warrior back a bit. Then I get close enough to the warlock and hold him in a grip until the warrior comes charging at me with no thought as to his rebel comrade. FROST NOVA!!! The rest is fiery history.

I grab what I was looking for - a black stone with a glowing symbol on it - and return to Thrall. Great, now he wants me to talk to some guy in a tent. F*** that, I'm off to Crossroads. I'll do that some other time, like next time I come back to "Orgymar", as a under-matured trol quips to me outside the bank. I hit the road and run through the Barrens for what seemed like an eternity (20 minutes to be exact). Okay, I'm there! I see the Crossroads! I'm about to make it! Nothing can stop me now! Just a few steps...

Unconscious.

Damn paladins.

Next thing I know, I'm in the Crossroads inn. I walk outside, and a sneaky gnome is killing all my new-found comrades. Fine, as long as he doesn't touch me. Then things got considerably worse - a warlock arrived, bringing with him a gift for the gnome in the form of a walking pile of flaming horses**t. Then, once the gnome is driven off, the infernal decides it doesn't like its master... and starts killing everyone. The gnome is there, at the gates, laughing in amusement while the rest of us contain the damn thing. Then the gnome has a "friendly" duel with one of our guys. Fine. The duel finishes. Gnome loses. He's now on low health. Last I heard, he was one of the most powerful of the Alliance. All it took was an undead rookie of my calibre to come up and knife him in the back. We all had a good drink afterwards.

Wee little hours...

I have begun my slow journey toward the kingdom that spawned me. Stormwind is a long way away, but I think I can manage it. I've exited the region and turned southward toward Silverpine Forest... it's been so long since I've seen my sister venture into that very same area to catch the boat to Fenris Isle... I never saw her again.



I've regained some of my memories, most importantly how I ended up in Tirisfal Glades after my death outside the gates of Stormwind. Turns out I was under the control of the Lich King for a while. He directed me to Lordaeron to fight a burgeoning threat of with the Forsaken share their land. Now I feel violated...

My powers have grown since my last entry. I already hold an formidable arsenal of flame, frost and arcana. I didn't think it would happen this quickly. I must be luckier than I thought...



I returned to Brill last night. My mother's hometown. I don't remember any of it. But strangely, I was halted by a fellow undead who claimed to be a messenger for the Dark Lady. He handed me a note that basically said I should head to Kalimdor. The land of the greenskins. Great.

See, my fellow undead are cunning and sinister - the Horde is nothing but a powerful tool to the Dark Lady. I, on the other hand, feel differently - the greenskins just irritate me. The trolls do so as well, but not as much. I know the Tauren - they are truly honorable, just like I am.



Ah well, better make some good use of time here in Tirisfal before I board the scheduled flight to Kalimdor. I wonder if the Brill General Goods vendor sells good sunscreen...

Returned...

I have been reborn once more! But behold, I have no recall of who I am. Something is wrong - I feel the memories of my past life slowly pouring into my slightly decomposed head. I can still formulate thoughts at will, much like I used to before I was brutally destroyed by the hands of fearless executioners who dared to tread on my dreams and treat me as a heretic of the Light.
At this moment, I can only remember this much: I was a mage, and I was killed by human zealots of the Church. I have no clue as to my former reputation, if any, or my powers which burgeon. I must reclaim my powers and force my assailants, who are no doubt still alive, into oblivion. Words cannot describe my anger - unlike my other fallen comrades here in Deathknell, I can see only red. The colour grows stronger when it surrounds my enemy... like an aura of sorts. I must gain more knowledge on the situation at hand...

I hear her voice in my head. She wills me to do her bidding. I am but a servant of the Dark Lady, former Ranger General Sylvanas of Silvermoon, now our last hope for victory against the Lich King.