PHASED OUT: Muh.....

PHWonline: good comics, bad forum community - Battle.net Starcraft Brood War's player faults!!!

I am extremely unapologetic as I write this post. It is 3am and I am here alone for the week while my family go on holiday up north, leaving me behind to care for myself.

In any case, a few hours after they left me here, I signed up at PHWonline.com... as you could probably guess, I'm now starting to regret that decision.

First of all, you know how I sign most if not all my posts on this blog with "Ark" at the end? After all, I am Arkaine the Undead Mage on Boulderfist. In my huge amounts of spare time that I have, I like to discuss (read: rant on about) various issues that just strike me as either very odd or very stupid.

One of those issues is the fact that my high school FINAL progress report for this year just arrived in the mail a few days - and we still have a full term and exams to go. But I'll leave that for another post in another time.

Anyway, as soon as I started posting on PHW, I immediately noticed something different about these forums - something that made PHW unique to literally every other forum I have joined.

A lot of these people are so bloody immature it isn't funny.

It just isn't.

I'm having trouble contemplating all this, let alone putting it all into writing.

It's just so hard to contemplate their stupidity. It's just so freakin' immense.

I'll try to keep it simple enough for you to understand without dying from brain hemorrhages. The real trouble though is trying to keep MY OWN BRAIN from suffering hemorrhages.

Unlike people on all the other forums, these guys just jumped at the sight of my "Ark" signature. They even blindly believed that you would get banned for signing your posts on other forums. Well, it's been two days. I'm not banned from PHW yet.

I've become the bad kind of trendsetter. Just check out this thread:
http://boards.phwonline.com/showthread.php?t=26616

If you actually did check out the thread in question, you'll notice that despite the presence of such members as Popwarbunny, !!LL!!, and Lt_Commander, one guy who bears the title of "Respected Member" (for reasons I can't possibly fathom apart from these people's sheer idiocy) had the nerve to tell me my name sucks. ("OpCWAL", short for Operation CWAL, which stands for Can't Wait Any Longer)

This moron's alias is Space-Bar.

I'll leave the matter of where his name is on the scale of crap up to your individual selves. In my opinion though, his name ain't too far off from mine if what he says about my name is probably true.

I like typing in red or blue text. It just looks much better than standard black.

Problem is, Space-ar and some other guy named Monkfish (who has PHWplus to his name) think it's alright for them because of their apparently elevated status to tell me how I make posts. According to them, "red is the colour of fail", then "OpCWAL is the colour of fail". And no, they aren't mods.

Me>> I'm not a colour.
Space-Bar>> You are now.
Me>> I'll tell you what I told Monkfish: Don't tell me who or what I am.

Monkfish>> Stop signing your posts.
Me>> Go to hell.

Hunting-Wolf>> Your Ark signature is annoying...
Me>> How can you find something so incredibly menial and trivial to be annoying and irritating? FFS it's a three-letter word.
(Note: Hunting-Wolf actually hasn't perceptively bothered me about it lately, so I'm alright with him.)

And then there's Microbit, who has actually convinced himself that I am emo-shild and disturbed. Now I can understand disturbed, but EMO?! I haven't made a single "emo" thread or post on PHW as of yet, nor does he realise that I am strongly anti-emo.
And not only that, but he's been repeating it, often in the same thread. He just can't think of anything more to say than that. Thankfully, Darude pointed out that it was my avatar that convinced him of my supposed emo-ness.

Speaking of which, Ukranian_wez said rather bluntly that I have "a sucky avatar". I could easily say the same for his.

Or is it because my avatar isn't made from Garry's Mod?

Moron.

And then he says I need to change my attitude.

Am I the one telling people their avatars suck? That their posts suck? That I fail to realise my own stupidity?

No.

They are the ones who need to change their attitudes. Not me. Them.

Actually, Space-bar was the one who said that I'm blind to my own stupidity.

I've been extremely careful making sure that my posts do NOT contain stupidity in them. If anything in fact, the stupidity stems from him and his overall smugness/complacency. He's obviously relying on the anonymity of the internet.

Hell, everyone is.

In the last two years, I've been booted and banned off every Battle.net game I join that's being run by an American. Hell, those damn American juvenile preteens are so complacent that... okay here's a typical situation on Battle.net:

Me>> joins the game
Me>> starts downloading the map if I don't have it already
Player1>> go go
Creator>> boots/bans me just as I'm either DLing extremely fast or at over 70% finished
10 minutes later...
Player1 whispers>> wtf why'd you quit game fag? we lost because we were missing a player
Me whispers>> the creator booted me - I was BANNED.
Me whispers>> maybe if you didn't get impatient and say "go go", he wouldn't have done it...
Me whispers>> oh wait -of course he would! they always do regardless of consensus!

I swear that happens all the bloody time it's not funny. I join a game and I'm banned/booted just like that, just as I'm at 95% and/or DLing the map extremely fast.

Hell, sometimes I already have the map. The problem is, that half the time, the creator tries to start the game but can't because someone apparently hasn't DLed the map yet. Despite me saying numerous times that I've got this version of the map plus several others, he goes so far as to ban me. Then he finds he STILL can't start the map.

Asshole.

Finally, before I publich this comment, I'll rant about one more thing (*sigh sigh etc stfu*).

Literally EVERY SINGLE TIME I join a non-Use Map Settings game, you know, a REAL game that requires REAL SKILL and teamwork (team games ftw), the following occurrs:

1 - I'm the first one to be attacked.
2 - I'm ganged up on by all the opposing players.
3 - Both 1 and 2 happen simultaneously. It doesn't matter where I am on the map.

Yes, I acknowledge that's how the game sometimes goes. If I get killed off, I get killed off. I'm perfectly capable of dealing with it healthily. Actually, I don't even have to deal with it. It's so minor... well, I'd be saying that if I wasn't so afflicted with such bad luck.

How else would you explain it if you were the first to be attacked AND ganged up on by the entire enemy team at once in literally EVERY melee game you joined?

It's 4am, and I gotta go get some sleep.

Ark

PS: Oh, and uh, no offense to you few American Battle.net players who are actually decent and put the rest of your brethren to shame.

posted by Ark @ 8:18 AM