PHASED OUT: Muh.....

Dead infernal looks like Dreadsteed dookie...

My psychiatrist will be happy to know I'm starting to come to terms with my homo... erm, undead... ness. Hell, it took me 3 hours of searching the entire region of Tirisfal for a sunscreen vendor before I finally realised: your phobia of melanoma now longer applies when you're dead! Now if only it were the same for your fear of roaches...

Some poor tauren fell off the blimp during the flight - the co-pilot just laughed it off while his overseer mumbled something inaudible into his microphone. Well, I supposed the Warchief would have sent some sort of crack navy team or what-rather to retrieve his body... except for the fact that I saw that very same tauren at the Crossroads some few hours later. Man, I always knew they were tough. The boffins over at Dalaran have NO idea!

I think my reputation is bigger than I thought, 'cause the Warchief had me summoned, er, DRAGGED to his side by some guy called Runthak. When I commented on the dragon's head impaled on a giant spike as an impressive decoration, he just growled and said nothing. Turns out the Warchief was short on time so he needed me to do a favour for him: slaughter orc rebels at a place called Skull Rock. He described the place, and I vaguely remembered spotting a similar-looking cave entrance on the coast as I was flying over. So I go over there, right? Ooh, a scary-looking figure with huge biceps and shiny bracelets comes out of the cave. I recognised him as a Voidwalker - human warlocks seemed to take Voidwalkers as a popular pet while I was still alive.
So I kill the Voidwalker... then his master comes out and starts shouting something in a language I don't understand. Then I get hit by a burst of shadowy pain. Only it wasn't pain - it actually tickled. The dead don't feel pain, but the orc will, I thought. Then another orc comes out, brandishing a sword as if to threaten me. Fine, I think. Let them come to me.
I create an explosion of energy around me, throwing the orc warrior back a bit. Then I get close enough to the warlock and hold him in a grip until the warrior comes charging at me with no thought as to his rebel comrade. FROST NOVA!!! The rest is fiery history.

I grab what I was looking for - a black stone with a glowing symbol on it - and return to Thrall. Great, now he wants me to talk to some guy in a tent. F*** that, I'm off to Crossroads. I'll do that some other time, like next time I come back to "Orgymar", as a under-matured trol quips to me outside the bank. I hit the road and run through the Barrens for what seemed like an eternity (20 minutes to be exact). Okay, I'm there! I see the Crossroads! I'm about to make it! Nothing can stop me now! Just a few steps...

Unconscious.

Damn paladins.

Next thing I know, I'm in the Crossroads inn. I walk outside, and a sneaky gnome is killing all my new-found comrades. Fine, as long as he doesn't touch me. Then things got considerably worse - a warlock arrived, bringing with him a gift for the gnome in the form of a walking pile of flaming horses**t. Then, once the gnome is driven off, the infernal decides it doesn't like its master... and starts killing everyone. The gnome is there, at the gates, laughing in amusement while the rest of us contain the damn thing. Then the gnome has a "friendly" duel with one of our guys. Fine. The duel finishes. Gnome loses. He's now on low health. Last I heard, he was one of the most powerful of the Alliance. All it took was an undead rookie of my calibre to come up and knife him in the back. We all had a good drink afterwards.

posted by Ark @ 10:31 PM